Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
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