people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
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Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
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Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
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