I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
Everything about him screamed your future.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
I love having hate sex.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
