I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize