saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
Randomize
