whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
