Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
Randomize
