This girl is more easily done than said...
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
