i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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