sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
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