It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
