He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
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