I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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