i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
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