I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
