Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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