Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
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