I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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