he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
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