it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
