Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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