i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
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