Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Randomize
