There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Randomize
