I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Randomize
