But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
I've got a whole match.com system. Triple book. First dates always get the 6pm happy hour drinks slot. 8pm dinner goes to a girl where I think I can close the deal. 10pm slot goes to the sure thing in case of emergency, but 6 can always trump 8 and 8 always trumps 10. Just blame it on a dead iPhone battery.
That, my friend, is how I bang 50 new girls a year. Not luck at all. It's science and statistics.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
Randomize
