My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
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