shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
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