Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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