just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
Randomize
