how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
i need to put some appletini on your dick
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
