she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
