I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
