I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
