he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
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