I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize