Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
Randomize
