My room smells like vodka and shame
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
