doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Randomize
