I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
this must be what syphilis tastes like
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
