my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Randomize
