Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
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