Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Randomize
