Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
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I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
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They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
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