i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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