Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
North Korea, Best Korea!
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
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