There is no way he is gay with that hair.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
Randomize
