so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
Randomize
