It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
Randomize