I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
My vagina just clenched in fear
Randomize
