What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize
