arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
and you fell through a lawn chair
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
Randomize
