it's too hot outside to masturbate.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
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