they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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