I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Randomize
