his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
