i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Randomize
