yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
Randomize
