Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Randomize
