he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
