My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
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