I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Randomize